Anyone childless by choice (childfree)?

[FemaleWriter]

I am curious about the number of members that have chosen to remain childless.

We can discuss the childless choice, whether you have made the choice or not.

As some of you might have figured by this question, I am childless by choice, or what some of us call it, childfree.

Anyway, I'm curious.

Take Care!

~Christine

[liv4pete]

i am 27 and am childless by choice. i have been married for 10 years in november. at first i wanted to have kids right away and then gradually changed my mind. I just dont have alot of patience. i took care if my sisters kids when i was just a kid and that kinda did it in for me. plus i come from a poor family and where me and my husband arent all that well off either, i dont want a child to have to grow up like i did. plus i like the alone time i get with my husband. im a little stingey when it comes to sharing him with others, lol!

[FemaleWriter]

Oh wow! Live4pete….we almost sound alike.

I'm about a year younger than you, and only married for 5 years.

I am 3 years older than my brother and I was his “mommy” from when he was born until he entered school. My mom said that she had to literally stand in line to see her own son. Of course, when he entered school, things changed…sibling rivalry. So, I've already been a mommy (and once is enough).

Other than having little-to-no patience, there are medical reasons for not wanting kids. Both my husband and I have or carry certain medical problems that could be passed down to our children. That is something we don’t want to face.

And of course the financial strain that a child would create. We are not rich, nor are we dirt poor, but we don’t have the money to raise a child. We just make enough for us and our pets to get by every month.

There’s also the problem of human overpopulation. It concerns us that so many people are so concerned about the pet overpopulation crisis, but not our own overpopulation crisis. Yes, we are concerned about the pet overpopulation as well, but we also worry about the overpopulation of our own species as well. Environmental concerns are tied in to this problem.

Then there are the “selfish” reasons. I can be lazy at times. I love having the alone time with my husband (I am greedy and jealous when it comes to my husband). Sometimes I don’t want to deal with other humans (somewhat anti-social). And, I don’t keep a regular schedule (I’m a nightowl at best). Plus I don’t want to be around children 24/7...kids are great, but it’s even better when you can return them to their parents at the end of the day.

Plus, we consider our pets to be our children (most of the time). They get lots of love and attention. They might get jealous if they have to share us with other humans.

I guess if we ever change our minds, we can always adopt.


Anyone else?


~Christine

[liv4pete]

lol, we do sound alot alike! Yeah, my bunny is my baby!! lol!

[Human Slave]

Childless by choice (or at least I will be as soon as I find a hubby).

Arthritis runs through the female lines of my family. Even at 23 there are times I cannot go without some sort of pain (right now my lower back and fingers are aching). I don't want to risk having a daughter and putting her through the same thing.

Like FemaleWriter I also have the selfish reasons for not wanting children. I can be very lazy at times and I keep weird hours (I usually go to bed around 5am). Plus I don't really like the idea of working full time and trying to be a parent. I wouldn't want a babysitter raising my child but I also wouldn't be able to stand being a stay at home mom.

Long ago I decided that if (and that's a big if) I ever chose to have children, I would adopt from a third world country, which is majorly over populated.

Right now I'm much happier with having my pets being my children.

[Sorathien]

i can't stand kids. i have a 6 year old sister with downs syndrome that i've helped raise, and after that when i was 13, getting the stares from people and having some of them ask me how old my daughter is, i've decided i NEVER want to have my own kid. it really sucks when i'm walking with her in a stroller or something, and my mom and dad are right there, and people look at me like i'm a total whore (or at least they did when i was younger) not to mention i don't have the patience for a child. i already want to kill my bird and my cat. the bird screeches for no reason, the cat meows constantly like he's starving when he's OBVIOUSLY not (he's fat) and he digs in the trash at night and i wake up to crap all over the floor or him chewing on plastic bags in the middle of the night. i can barely stand those two, i could NOT handle a baby.

[RavenRose]

27 and single, but still will probably always be childless by choice.
I'm not incredibly fond of children... probably comes from having a huge family, and working retail for about 9 years! I personally only have one brother, but my mom is one of 7 and my dad is one of 9. My cousins range from about 40 to 3. I have numerous 2nd cousins. Most of them are obnoxious! Some of the adults even, LOL, but most of the 10 and under ones are spoiled little brats! Then there's the retail... I want to strangle all the parents that just let their kids run screaming through the store! Then, when one of them who was running happens to trip or slip and hurts themselves, it's supposed to be our fault! GRRR. LOL, anyway.... sorry about the rant.

Every now and then I see a baby that's either asleep or fully fed and rested and is happy, and I'll get this feeling that I might someday want a baby. Then the baby starts screaming about something, or I go to work, or a family function and the feeling vanishes.

Like FemaleWriter said, if I do decide I want a baby, I could always adopt. Same with the spaying/neutering thing... there are already how many kids in the world that need homes? Plus, as messed up as the world is anymore, do I really want to torture another kid by bringing it into the world??

Also, like FemaleWriter said, my animals are my babies. And that's another thing with having kids... I know people who have loved their animals and made them their whole lives, then had a kid and the animals get ignored or thrown outside. I would hate to have anything ever interfere with my love for them.

[Carmz]

I'm 20 with a soon to be 3 yr old son.....

i've been with my partner (aged 28) for what feels like forever... and the moment i knew it will always be forever... so at the first sign of a stable life i was going to jump at the chance of having a kid... and thats exactly what we had... a good income a place we called home and the support, ability and requirements that i felt would be a great enviroment to bring a child up in !
All my life my mother worked with kids and i had 2 sisters... i ALWAYS wanted a brother... and well i never got my brother, but to my excitment i had a baby boy... and i feel that he has already completed my life.. ! it has been my life goal just to be a mother and have the wonderful privalage of bringing up a child...
having him so young never stoped me from doing anything i wanted to do... but also having achieved my goal i am set out to do more ... and having a child is like motivation to do more for this child... something to work for and live for and do whatever it takes to give this child whatever he need and wants ! and him starting school in only 2 more years will give me even more freedom to do this....to do more... to go out and work again and just improve on what we have !

it might not make much sense to you the way i have worded this... but to me it is perfect sense.

i mean.... working and caring foryourself is good and all.... but to have someone completely dependant on you and you having to work out and figure out whats needed and whats best for this child is more fullfilling... like..... you have a mission and a life long reason to wake up everymorning... and a job to do that is more rewarding than ANYTHING i can imagine. nothing can give u the same feeling of belonging and reason for living.

we all want to feel like we are needed.... and wanted.... and loved ...and wondering what our purpose for living is.... and i feel thats a child give completion in life the most amazing thing u can encounter !

yes it is hard work and stressful.... but it is nothing compared to the love and joy they give back....

(well thats my feeling on this subject) :wavey:

[FemaleWriter]

You think a child completes all the longings that someone might have, huh?

What about parents who can't stand their children?
What about parents who never wanted children?
What about parents who neglect and abuse their children?

No. Children are not for everyone.

~~~

All I need are my pets and my husband.

They give me the love I need.
They give me the attention I want.
They give me a purpose in life.
They give me reasons to live.
They are dependent on me for love, attention, food, shelter, and care.

I don't need a child to feel loved, needed, wanted, or a reason to live.


I don’t need a child that’ll grow up to hate me.
I don’t need a child that’ll misbehave and talk back at me.
I don’t need a child that’ll create more stress and frustration than I already have.
I don’t need a child that’ll end up costing me more than a million dollars by the time they’re in college.


~~~

It’s great that your child gives you that love, dependency, and purpose in life that you needed and wanted. But a child is not for everyone. Not everyone will get the same feelings with their child that you have with yours.


~Christine

[RavenRose]

i mean.... working and caring foryourself is good and all.... but to have someone completely dependant on you and you having to work out and figure out whats needed and whats best for this child is more fullfilling... like..... you have a mission and a life long reason to wake up everymorning... and a job to do that is more rewarding than ANYTHING i can imagine. nothing can give u the same feeling of belonging and reason for living.

we all want to feel like we are needed.... and wanted.... and loved ...and wondering what our purpose for living is.... and i feel thats a child give completion in life the most amazing thing u can encounter !
To all of this I have to say, replace "child" with "dog" and it sounds perfect. I'm not a people person... people are annoying, selfish, vane, judgemental.... I get none of that from my dogs. They love me unconditionally, they are very loyal, they will always listen. I was going to say they don't talk back the way children do, but Angel's awfully sassy! LOL.

[Human Slave]

Another reason why I'm not having kids:

Tonight I was on my way home from the movies. It's after 10pm and I'm at my cottage so I'm driving around a small dark town, when these kids walk right out in front of my van while crossing the street. I almost hit the little brats and would have if I hadn't slammed on my breaks (for the recond, I was going *slower* than the speed limit because I'm not used to driving at night without a lot of city lights). These kids were no older than 12 and had no business being out that late.

I can't stand being around someone (human) with such a low IQ they make my dogs look smart. It doesn't take a lot of intelligence to know not to step out in front of that big ass van coming at you.

[creativz]

RavenRose-Like FemaleWriter said, if I do decide I want a baby, I could always adopt. Same with the spaying/neutering thing... there are already how many kids in the world that need homes? Plus, as messed up as the world is anymore, do I really want to torture another kid by bringing it into the world??

Also, like FemaleWriter said, my animals are my babies. And that's another thing with having kids... I know people who have loved their animals and made them their whole lives, then had a kid and the animals get ignored or thrown outside. I would hate to have anything ever interfere with my love for them. :yes: Took the words right out of my hands !

[RavenRose]

Yeah, unfortunately, my aunt is one of those people who has done the ignoring, not because of her kids, but her grandkids. She made me want to kill her when her and her husband built a new house. She wanted to put both her husky and her cocker to sleep because Nikki (husky) was used to being outside a lot, in a fenced in yard, and they didn't want to put a fence up at the new house and knew she wouldn't go for a tie-out... and Dusty (cocker) had started peeing in the house to try to get her attention because he had pretty much been her whole life, til her grandson came along. She didn't do either, only because my mother flipped out on her when she mentioned it to her.

[Human Slave]

My cousin's dog wasn't so lucky. He got ignored after her daughter was born but he still loved them very much. One day when he was trying to sleep, the daughter got in his face, blowing on his face and pulling his ears. He bit in defense so she had him put down without even try to rehome him (I would have taken the dog in a second to save his life). The "dangerous" dog was Shih tzu.

We're not allow being childless by choice. I read in the paper today that most women now wait until their thirties before they start thinking about children. :)

[Jennicat]

i mean.... working and caring foryourself is good and all.... but to have someone completely dependant on you and you having to work out and figure out whats needed and whats best for this child is more fullfilling... like..... you have a mission and a life long reason to wake up everymorning... and a job to do that is more rewarding than ANYTHING i can imagine. nothing can give u the same feeling of belonging and reason for living.

*sigh*

I don't need a child to give me a mission in life. I have my OWN lifelong reasons to wake up for. I have my OWN callings which are more rewarding to me. I am not going to pop out a child so that people will feel like I have a valid mission in life.

[FemaleWriter]

We've made our choice permanent. Hubby has had a vasectomy a few years ago. Nothing to worry about. Plus I'm on birth control pills for health reasons.

Maybe when I'm in my 30's, we'll have our own home that we can fill up with more pets and maybe even do fostering for the local shelters.

I think my reasons not to have children will always be strong. I don't think anyone could convince me to have children.

~Christine

[Carmz]

i was just stating my oppinons and choices NOT trying to influence or encourage others to follow my steps ! Thats what this is right ... people having there say... and seams some people have taken as though i was saying what i said was right and thats the way it is ! (but i wasnt meaning that) was just my thought and feelings on this subject.

my animals havn't been abandoned or neglected either... if anything they have MORE company and another person to play with and get fed by and spoilt just as much and more than before...

[FemaleWriter]

I'm sorry if it looked like I was jumping on you. I was just responding to your message.

There are people out there though that will try to influence others. There are people out there that don’t understand why someone would not want children. There are people out there that pressure the childless into having children. Those with children even get incentives and special privileges…it’s like the world (government and businesses) is out to punish the childless for their choice.


I have nothing against people who have children. I'm happy that your son was planned (that he wasn't a mistake that you regret). I'm really happy that your animals aren't neglected and that they have another person to play with.

We have a niece and nephew to entertain the dog with. Ringo loves our niece, but hasn't seen our nephew yet (niece is 4 years old; nephew is just over 2 months old). The cats aren't as social as the dog. The rats sometimes get company. The AFD's aren't aware of anything outside their aquarium.

Anyway, I hope you all have a great day.

Take Care!

~Christine

[anidore]

I myself respect people who choose not to have kid's'i have 3 daughters and at times i would give anything to turn the clock back'they can cause a great deal of stress 'a lot of money and with no family around i have no freedom'saying that at times they can give a lot of enjoyment but that is few and far between.Thankfully i have a lot of patience'but some people have'nt and that's a good reason not to have kid's'to have a child for the wrong reason's then find you can't cope is selfish'that is why i respect those who choose not to have kid's

[overtgabby]

I always said I would never have kids, but when I became pregnant with Bonnie(11 now), buddy was so excited, that I couldn't help getting excited too.Buddy already had a 5 year old daughter from his previous marriage, and assured me he knew all about babies(which all went out the window as soon as Bonnie arrived!) The kids can drive me nuts(I can't wait for school to start again!) but I don't regret having them. What bugged me the most were non- pet people telling me dumb stories about the dangers of pets with kids.And rather than the pets being jealous of competition, they have more people to love them. This suits them fine.Allour pets have their "favorite" person. I am lucky enough to be able to stay at home with them,which benefits the pets too. I'm sure I would have been perfectly happy if I didn't have kids, but now that I do, I want to keep them!Anyways, they will move out eventually, but I will always have my furry kids at home.

[Maiingan Kwe]

O'siyo everyone. Interesting thread!

I am childless, by choice. I never wanted a kidlette. I have four incredible godchildren and that is as close to 'having' kids that I will ever come.

I was also told that I would never be able to carry to full-term is I choice to have a child - that it would more then likely kill me. But seeing that I never wanted any kids, that was fine by me. ;)

My wife has 2 kids and 1 grandchild, and that is good enough for me! lol

My animals are my children!