Post A Joke A Day Game

[Pluto]

I want to start my "Post A Joke A Day Game" , just for plain silly fun and entertainment.

Rules of the game:
- Each of us post a single joke in a day.
- You are only allow to post one best joke you like in a single day.
- You are allowed to post another joke on the next day.
- Lastly and most important, .......... you gotta laugh.

Rewards:
Laughing keeps you younger and the doctor away.

Let the game begin!

[Left Paw]

A duck walks into a bar and says:






"ouch"




He he he

[Mitchandozzie]

ok this is not meant to offend any blonds. but i know alot of blond jokes cause my sis is a bond, and a dumb blond too( shes failing reiligion! how can you fail religion?!), ok here it is.




Why did the M&M manufacturer fire their blonde employees?
Because they kept throwing away the W's.

[Left Paw]

My favorite blonde joke:


Why are blonde jokes so short?





So men can remember them!

[Mitchandozzie]

lol! um let me think...................
a blond goes to her company picknic and wins a thermos. she diesnt know what a thermos is though, so she asks her freind who says" you use a thermos to keep hot things hot, and clod things cold." . the blond says"oh! i get it!" and walks away.
the next day the blond brings the thermos to work and her boss, who is also a blond asks"what is that?". the blond answers, "its a thermos, you use it to keep hot things hot, and cold things cold.".
"oh! what do you have in it tehn?" the boss asks.
"two popsicles and a cup of coffee" teh blond answers.

[Left Paw]

Okay, that was downright scary... NEXT!!!!....




How many hamsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?




Wightbub? What wightbub?




Checkers! You spit that out right now!





Disclaimer: Don't let your hamster stuff lightbulbs. THey're not going to talk funny or otherwise.

[Mitchandozzie]

lol tahts funny! do u have msn left paw?

[Hedgierat]

A blonde walks outside and looks in her mailbox, but only finds

nothing, moments later she does the same, getting more angry

every time. The third time a man mowing his lawn walks up to her

and asks what she is doing,

she says " my stupid computer keeps telling me that I have mail"!!!


:badpc: :badpc:

[Left Paw]

FOFLMBO!!!!! That was great!


I'm out of jokes. Tell you a true story.


My aunt has a bunch of kids- two of them are Emily, who's 4, and Blake, who's 6. Emily's a know-it-all, bossy little thing. Blake thinks everything's funny- even Emily.

Blake comes to his mother to ask her a word he was trying to read- pork. But Blake doesn't know what pork is. My aunt prompts him- 'It's a kind of meat,' she says. 'You know what animal it comes from?'

'A porcupine!' Emily supplies.

After much laughter, Blake makes a funny of his own.

"Shouldn't they call it 'poke', then?" he asked.

[RodentBoy]

did you hear about the blond that was found dead in a closet...

she was last years hide and go seek winner...

[RodentBoy]

Ok, this ones a little better, man i love this one...

A bernet, a red head, and a blond, excape from prison...

They had to find a place to hide...

So they ran into the closest building, a barn, and hid in sacks.

The cops come into the barn a few minutes later...

The head cop, tell the other one, to go kick the those sacks, just in case...

So he kicks the first one, and hears " meeoww " and says, " oh, its just a bag of cats boss."

"Ok, now the one next to it," said the head cop...

So the he went to kick the next sack, " arf arf," " oh, its just a dog," he sad to his boss...

"Ok, now the last one."

So he kicks it, " potatoes..."

now im sure you can guess which on e was the blond...

he he...

[Mitchandozzie]

ya ive heard taht one before. i still find it funny.

heres one:
3 blonds go hiking on the woods in the winter, they keep hiking until they see some tracks. they stop to look at them and the first blond asks " what kind of tracks do u think they are? i think they're deer tracks."
the second blond says"i think they're rabbit tracks"
teh thrid blong stands on the tracks and opens her mouth to answer, then gets hit by the train.

[Left Paw]

Eeeeewww!!!! I'm gonna go dye my hair now!


This is an old one, but a good one:

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead find themselves in a hostile third-world country and are about to be executed by firing squad.

The brunette is brought up first. The captain instructs the firing squad, "Ready! Aim!"

The brunette shouts, "Tornado!"

The firing squad scatters, heading for cover, and the brunette gets away.

They decide to go ahead and execute the redhead. The captain instructs the firing squad, "Ready! Aim!"

The redhead shouts, "Hurricane!"

The firing squad scatters, heading for cover, and the redhead gets away.

So, they decide to go ahead and execute the blonde. The captain instructs the firing squad, "Ready! Aim!"

Taking the queue from her clever companions, the blonde shouts, "Fire!"

[Mitchandozzie]

lol!!!!!!!!! i havent heard taht one before.

[suncat55567]

theres a drum line with a blonde in it and the major says drum roll plz...... and the blonde rolls her drum.

[RodentBoy]

omg leftpaw, that one was a harlarious! :lol:

* still laughen *

sheehan

[clair902]

dont be afended i am blond myself

Ok there was a blond a bernet and a redhead running from the cops so they all jumped into a different bag.

Then a cop came and kicked the first bag and the bernet said woof woof

Then a cop kicked the second bag and the redhead said meow meow

then he kicked the third bag and the blond said po-ta-to

[clair902]

ok

this blond has a bunch of dents in her car so she goes to the auto shop.

The guy there knows she is blond so he tells her to blow in the tail pipe to pop the dents out

when she gets home she tries it.

The 1st time takes a breath and blows so hard she turns red

The 2nd time she turns blue

Then before she can try again her blond neighbor ,sally, comes over and asks her what she is doing so she tells her and then sally says " i know what is wrong. You need to close the windows." :D

[RodentBoy]

that second one was funny! :D

sheehan

[Flutterby21782]

Osama bin Laden has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell,
where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You are on my list,
but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell
you what I'm going to do. I've got a couple of folks here who weren't quite
as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place.
I'll even let YOU decide who leaves.
" Osama thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed.
The devil opened the first room; in it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of
water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed-over and over and over.
Such was his fate in hell. "No," bin Laden said. "I don't think so. I'm not
a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long." The devil
led him to the next room; in it was Tony Blair with a sledge hammer and a
room full of rocks. "No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be
in constant agony if all I could
do was break rocks all day," commented Osama bin Laden.
The devil opened a third door. In it, Osama saw Bill Clinton, lying on the
floor with his arms staked over his head,and his legs staked in a spread
eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
Osama bin Laden looked at this in disbelief for a while and
finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."
The devil smiled and replied................ (scroll down)










"OK, Monica, you're free to go."

(For those who don't know like me Tony Blair is: he is the english prime minister, and I don't know why he's a bad guy really)

[Left Paw]

One day, a blonde named Sally was putting together a puzzle. She was really stumped and very frustrated, so she decided to ask her husband for help.

''It's supposed to be a tiger!'' Sally cried.

''Honey," said Dan, "Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box!''

[suncat55567]

haha leftpaw!!!! good one!!!:flippy: ! once there was a seed and he was like a whiz kid and when he grew up guess what his fav subject was?




g-im-a-tree

[Mitchandozzie]

good one Ginia!

[Left Paw]

Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?



They think someone is taking their picture.

[Mitchandozzie]

lol!!!!!!!!


heres one thats not really a joke but i still think it was funny. its somthing a blond would say:


the world revolves around the sun? huh. daddy always said the world revolves around me.

[mooncat6911]

There was a sarcastic teacher and 1 morning he said if you think you are a loser stand up no 1 stood up.

In a few minutes somebody stood up and the teacher said why do you think your a loser??

The kid said I dont really think im a loser but i hate to see you standing up there all by your self.
:angel4: :D

[suncat55567]

omg kylie lol!!!!

[Mandie Johnson]

knock knock whoes there lettec lettec who lettec in its cold out here.:D :badpc: :alien: :agree:

[keh02008]

one day a duck walked into a store and asked do u have ne grapes the manager said no

the next day the duck asked do u have ne grapes the manager said no

so the next day the duck asked do u have ne grapes the manager said no

finally the manager got so mad he said if u come in and ask that one more time i'll nail your feet to the floor

the next day the duck came in and asked do u have ne nails the manager said no

so the next day the duck cme in and asked do u have any grapes..

[RodentBoy]

lol, that was great one Keh02008! :p

[Mitchandozzie]

lol good one kate!

[keh02008]

thanks

[suncat55567]

theres a kid who doesnt know his abcs so his teacher says ur homework is to learn the first 4 letters of the alphbet he asks his mom whats the first letter of the alphabet and she says "im busy sorry" so he goes to his sister and goes whats the second letter of the alphabet and shes listing to music so she goes "yeah yeah yeah!!!" so he goes to his bro he watching batman so he asks him whats the third letter of the alphabet and he goes "dunna nunna batman!!!" so he goes to his dad he watching foot ball and the kid asks him whats the fourth letter of the alphabet? and he goes "49 49 hit em hard hit em hard" so the next day at school the teacher asks him whats the first letter in the alphabet and he goes "im busy sorry" and she goes would u like to tell the principle that and he goes "yeah yeah yeah!!!" so the principle asks him who do u think u are?? and he goes "dunna nunna batman!" and he goes how many spankings do u need and he goes "49 49 hit em hard hit em hard"

[BudgieBud53]

good one suncat
:offtopic:, but Mitchandozzie, where did you get your avatar?, it looks cool

[rabbitdogcatluv]

Uhh..I don't think Mitchandozzie is still around here lol

[pandiapita04]

I know this thread is OLD but heres a joke my little brother made up when he was about 5:
Whatta ya call a man who's not married?


Homeless! (Not the best joke ever but hey! he was 5)

-~Ketlin